Enveloping Darkness
by FieryWitch
Summary: It was time and Edward had to move. Bella, driven out of grief, puts her plan into action to end all pain..her plan doesn't exactly go the way she wanted though...and 18 years later..Bella isn't the same Bella...and then the Cullens arrive!
1. Prologue part one

**Disclaimer: no i dont own any of the characters...edward+bella +billy+charlie aint mine-belong to stephenie meyer! i no its so sad! i only own the plot**

**Authors Note: EEK! ive finnnally finished to prologue part one! ahh i JUST wrote this exact smae thing but i forgot to put save changes andso i have 2 do it al over again! GRRR DARN IT! sigh...hope yall like it! review! THE PROLOGUE BEGINS!...**

Prologue-part one

Twilight. It was beautiful, and it would be the last one I would see. Sighing, I think about how Edward and I spent our first twilight togeth-_no._

I will _not_ think about that. Trying hard not to bring forth overly-painful memories, I look down, over the cliff. It was soaring high, far from the ground, and it was making me lightheaded.

Wait_, I'm not ready yet!_

I never was fine with heights...

Well, if this is what it takes to end the pain, then so be it. Before I thrust myself into what I know will be eternal darkness, but a place without pain, I remember the earth-shattering moment that led me into where I am at this instant...

_I just came home from dinner with Charlie and Billy, Charlie dropping me off at our house. Dinner had been a bit awkward since I utterly despise Billy now. But I had noticed he uncharacteristically had worn a smug and pleased expression throughout the entire time, right up until Charlie had dropped me off._

_Whatever caused that I knew was not good._

_I entered my bedroom and my mood was instantly uplifted by the vampire, sitting on my bed. But that was only for a second, before I realized he looked like someone had just died. Someone he loved._

_He was sitting on my bed, staring straight ahead, deep in thought. His face was a mask of anguish. Anxiously, but steadily, I call out, forhe hadn't moved an inch since I'd opened the door, and I was positive he would've heard me._

"_Edward?"_

_It took a moment but it he did respond. His eyes slightly came back into focus and he simply looked in my directionbefore appearing right in front of me, and picked me up. Cradling me in his arms like a child, he spoke._

_"You know I'll always love you? Forever and ever?" He tried to smile but it didn't even get a quarter-way there. _

_In my instinct, I knew at once this was going to be devastating, and not just for him, but for me. My heart though, did not want to believe it._

_I looked at him straight in his incredible topaz eyes. _

_"Edward, what's wrong?" I said, scared to death. In his brilliant eyes, which were just a shade above onyx now, I saw a vast amount of pain. Then I realized he was trembling, which means he would be crying if he was human. _

_Oh no. _

"_It's time for us to move. Everyone is packed, and we're leaving as soon as my body leaves your window and my feet touch the ground." He paused, crushing me to him. _

"_I won't be the same anymore, and I have no idea how I'll be able to live each and everyday, for the rest of eternity without you." He said miserably. It took a minute for that to sink in. And once it did, I was in shock._

_"No." I said, to the point. He couldn't just leave me like that. It would be the most thoughtless, heartbreaking thing he could possibly do. He wouldn't. He couldn't. That explains Billy's expression._

_He merely shook his head sadly. He started sobbing tearlessly. _

_"Bella I can't stay. People will begin to figure us out. We'll be discovered. My family won't let that happen. I'm sorry, I-" I cut him off without another thought._

_"What about me! You can't just leave me here!" I screamed. Hadn't he given any thoughts to that matter? He can _not_ be serious._

_At this point, burning tears were coming down fast and uncontrollably. I continued. "I'll come with you! Anything!" I said desperately. He shook his head miserably once more._

_"No, it'sfar more dangerous then you think, and I will _not_ be the cause of your death. The vampires we're going to be going to aren't vegetarians, and they wouldn't hesitate to drink you dry. I won't let that happen." He said fiercely but with grief. I panicked. He was right. Hell, he was always right. But I didn't care. I would not let him leave. I tightened my grip, even though I knew it was in vain. _

_"Edward, you can't just leave me! I can't live or function without you! I need you! I love you more then life itself!" He loosened my grip from him unwillingly. He spoke forcefully, his voice shaking._

_"Bella, I love you more then you can imagine. You're my life, my world, my angel and so much more. But you deserve a normal human life, and I need to be gone for that to happen." He paused one last time. I couldn't believe he thought this was the right thing to do._

"_I love you Bella, and I'll always remember you." His lips met mine in the most perfect and the most tragic kiss. As soon as it started, it ended. I couldn't believe this was the last time he would ever kiss me, or touch me._

_He was at the window in an instant and I knew there was no possible way for me to reach him in time._

_"Goodbye Isabella Swan." And with that he was gone._

_Forever._

_"No!" I shrieked. I ran to the window and stuck my head out, bashing my head against the top part of it, not giving a damn, for the pain I was feeling from the window this second was nothing compared to the heart-wrenching emotional pain I knew would scar me for life. If I chose to continue to have a life..._

_"Edward! Come back! Edward Cullen! You can't leave me!" I screamed. I continued screaming myself hoarse before finally realizingthat my attempts to bring him back were futile. _

_I slowly stuck my head back inside, in a daze. I collapsed on the soft carpet and sobbed violently for hours before the same darkness I know would consume me in a moment came over my body… _

The only difference this time is that I'll never come out of the darkness, ever again. It's barely been a month, but it has been the worst month of my life.

A month of stress,

of pain,

of misery,

of anger,

of depression.

I do _not_ want to feel anymore. Tears streaming down my face, I know that this is what I have to do. What's the point of living as an empty shell? The shell should be full of life. But that life was taken away. My life was taken away.

And with that, I plunge myself over the cliff.

I feel for a second, more pain then I can ever imagine, but will never get the chance to, before the never-ending darkness overcomes me in triumph.

**Authors Note: sigh..so sad! well this is just dandy! im actually gonna remeber to save it this time or i'll drive myself INSANE! most likely i'll continue on with the story... but this is just part one! im gonna start on part two right now! itsjust that i have a POUNDING migraine right this second at 1:32, so im gonna sleep for a while! HOPE YALL LIKED IT! xoxo! ;o**


	2. Prologue part two

**Authors Note: YES YES YES! prologue..part two..NOW DONE! ijust HAD to get that out. BY the way, read the authors note at the end of this chapter AND DONT DO IT RIGHT NOW! please? review! AND I'll UPDATE! but im going to new orleans on thursday...soo i might not be able to update THAT soon...BUT REVIEW ANYWAYS! xoxo ;o!**

Prologue part two

Agonizing, excruciating pain. That's all I feel.

_No!_ I think._ This is what I wanted to escape from! _

But all I know is that the pain is so unbearable, I'm on the verge of insanity. I hear a piercing scream, andwith mythroat burning, along with the rest of my body, I know it's mine. I try to be strong and keep it in which makes everythingten timesworse.

_I should be dead by now! Why can't God just let me die? Is this Hell? Oh great, what did I do? Edward should be the one in hell! Not me!_

I'm thinking too much and thoughts are flying through my head. This is not fair.

Then again, life isn't fair. I learned that the hard way. Then I take notice of a voice; a smooth but sharp voice.

_So it's not Edward_. I think bitterly. I'm suspicious now. Who would be here doing nothing while I drown in unbelievable pain? Listening carefully, I realize they're talking to _me. _

He says smoothly once more, "Don't worry, it's the third day. Surprisingly, you slept throughout the other two." He pauses, and continues. "I'll explain whatever you want to know once it's over."

_What? Third day of what? Why is it surprising that I slept? And what is _it I think fearfully. Somehow, I manage to call out, barely though. I only get a word out.

"It?"

I'm uneasy about the response I'm going to get.

_Did someone find me when I jumped off? Am I getting surgery? What's going on?_

I can't see the face of who's speaking, but I know he's a male and that he has dark hair. Everything is a blur at the moment.

"The change." He says simply. "You're turning into a vampire, sweetheart. By the way, there's no point in keeping the screams in, because it just makes the pain worse." He sounds amused.He is _so_ annoyi-

_Wait. __What did he just say?_

Oh. My. God. No way.I'm not sure what I feel at the moment. Shock. Anger. Excitement. Annoyance. Depression. Isubconsciously notice that the male hasleft the room,but I had no more time to think before the pain hits its final peak and I gave an earsplitting shriek that lasted forever to me. It felt like a thousand jagged knives jabbed into me at the exact same time. I think it's going to kill me.

_Well, that was my intent before, so maybe this will get the job done..._

But the next second, the pain is replaced with iciness. Not the burning kind though; it was more of a relief. Then I realize the pain. It's over. There's no more. Peace at last.

I lay there for an immeasurable amount of time with my eyes closed, loving the inward coolness that took away the pain.

I finally open my eyes. I'm in a largeroom. It's very elegant. It looks like a lover's room. The bedspread is a light shade of pink and red. The walls are covered in light orange flowers with a pink background. I notice the paintings on the walls, and realize I can read the inscription at the bottom with significant ease. My vision has improved considerably. I take in the whole pictures of the paintings. They all consist of what looks like couples in love.The T.V though is huge. I scoff.

_Well, there's one thing that's not too romantic for my taste. _

I get up and explore the room, not quite ready to go outside of my place of safety. I look inside the bathroom and discover it's almost bigger then the room.

_And just as loving, _I think mockingly.

This is so not my place. I walk inside and shut the door behind me. Then I spot a mirror, and what I see stuns me.

There's a beautiful girl staring back at me. I can't believe I'm attractive now. My hair is darker then before, not quite black but not brown either. I tilt my head and notice it depends on the lighting. It's more brown then black, I decide. It's longer also, reaching just below my waist, and stick straight. I'm exceedingly pale, almost white, without any blemish on my skin. My nose looks the same, just a bit narrower. My lips also didn't change much. They've always been full, and now their just a tad more defined.

My eyes though; those are what've changed the most. Staring back at me, are beautiful and alluring, but terrifying ruby red eyes. So fast it startles me, I'm an inch away from the mirror, inspecting my new self. I smile, thinking how ironic this is. The one time I'm actually pretty, and Edwards not here to see it.

_Edward._

All the pain I felt before comes back to me. I can't take it. I rush outside of the bathroom and look out the window out of nothing else to do. Anger and sadness are taking over me.

All of a sudden, I'm experiencing a peculiar feeling, and the anger and sadness intensifies.

_What's happening?_

Out of nowhere, it starts hammering rain outside. There's so much rain, that I can barely see outside the window. It scares me a bit. Then lightning flashes just a mere 15 feet away from the window and nearly gives me a heart attack. Then I remember that's not possible.

Thunder explodes outside, and then the wind picks up. My feelings are now revolving mainly now around anger.

_This feels natural._

I then realize with astonishment, but joy that _I'm_ the one controlling the storm. I laugh out loud, the sound getting drowned out by the noise thundering outside. I make it louder, and the storm roars.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see roots struggling to keep their trees down, and just as I'm about to increase the intensity, the bedroom door bursts open, and 5 vampires' rocket inside and tackle me to the ground, but not before giving me a brief look of awe, I notice in satisfaction. Then one of them speaks.

"Blake, make her turn it off or something!" He sounds panicked. I smile. The black-haired onethen speaks hurriedly.

"Listen girl, whatever you're doing, turn it off, and do it now. Yes, we know it's you." He adds as I give him a look of mock surprise. I decide I don't want to ruin the house, and without actually knowing how, I calm the winds down. The rain slows down and altogether stops. By now, the thunder and lightning have ended, and despite the fact that it's not all in all sunny, it's definitely not the almost-catastrophe it was a second ago.

"What the hell was that?" The blond male speaks again. I look around at the vampires around me, but only looking at one thing. Their eyes.

5 pairs of dark red eyes, just as terrifying as my own, were all staring at me, each pair holding emotions. They drank humans, not animals. I wondered what my chances were of escaping.

_ None…_

I smiled bitterly. Great…

The shaggy black haired one spoke. I noticed he was incredibly gorgeous, almost reaching Edward's beauty.

_ Almost being the key word_

I really needed to stop thinking so much….

"What's your name?" He said warily. I gave him a smile to show I didn't bite and answered calmly.

"Bella." He gave me an easy smile, and introduced himself.

"I'm Blake Lotus. This is my clan." They each started introducing themselves. I got bored instantly. Anyways, by the way the girls were looking at me, I knew they didn't want me here anymore then _I _wanted to be here.

The first to speak was the blond male who'd spoken before. He was built like Emmet and was incredibly bulky. He had curly blond hair that barely reached the tip of his shoulders.

"I'm Donovan." Hmm...That was short. I guess that's what "introduction" means. I smiled, before asking,

"Do you have a power?" He looked uncertain and spoke.

"Well, I have more strength then an average vampire, but I'd say it was more of a trait." He flexed his muscles with a cocky grin and the blond female shot into his lap, like claiming ownership. She glared at me, like daring me to make a move on her man. Amused, I smiled and said swiftly,

"Don't worry, he's all yours." Donovan and the brown-haired male chuckled. The brown-haired one had long hair that reached the middle of his back, which he wore in a ponytail. He was taller then Donovan, and not as bulky, more lean. He spoke.

"I'm Adrian. My power is reading people's auras, in color. Like one of yours is a dark brown for boredom." He then grinned. I grinned back cheekily.

The next one who spoke was a solemn purple-haired girl. Her hair was also rather long, reaching the ends of her hips. It was glossy and wavy. She was on the short side and extremely thin. She gave off a gothic, don't-try-and-talk-to-me vibe.

"I'm Lilith." She said monotonously. "Adrian's my husband." She doesn't say it territorially, more just like a statement. "I can make humans kill themselves." She gives me a twisted smile.

_ That has to be the sickest power,_ I think disgustingly. I don't fully understand it though so I ask,

"How do you manage to do that?"

"I can give out waves of depression, but i control the sadness level, and if I want to I'll give them like an 'overdose' of it, and then they don't want to live anymore. Humans are very impulsive."

"Does it work on vampires?" She looks thoughtful for a second before answering,

"Yes, but to a point. They obviously can't kill themselves. And anyways, they can resist it better," She scowls. "So it's more fun when I do it on humans."

_ More fun? _I give up, trying to think of a reason on how it's fun when the next female speaks. She reminds me of Rosalie, since she also has blond hair. Her hair though, is much lighter, basically white, and only reaches her shoulders.

"I'm Vega. Donovan is my husband." She stops to glare. Yep, that's Rosalie's twin. "My power is more of a trait. It's persuasiveness." I smile inwardly,

_ More like lustfulness…_I think, amused once again by her actions and speech. Blake speaks again.

"Oh, I can move things with my mind. But no, I can't move vampires." He smiles at me, knowing that was what I was going to ask. I guess they already know but I tell them anyways,

"Well, seeing the storm I created in a matter of seconds, I'm guessing my power is to control the weather..." I say mockingly. I smile and decide I want the sun shining. I get that same pleasant feeling and the sun's now out. The sun shines on us, bathing us in itslight.

I stare in awe and wonder at our skin. Sparkling like a pure and wholesome diamond, I raise my hand in front of my face, waving it back and forth. I look back at the clan. Vega has a look of annoyance on her face.

_ Like I care…_I think sarcastically.

Lilith has no expression. She doesn't seem sad, more like bored.

The males' stares hold a tad bit of lust, not being able to show much, for their companions would surely kill them.

Blake though, is a different story. I can see immediately that he has no problem showing the desire on his face.

Even though this whole clan is unbelievably gorgeous, there's just no possible way for me to ever experience love again. The pain is brought up again once more, but I quickly push it away. I had more important issues at present

_ I'll grieve later in the forest_, I decide.

"You'll need to hunt soon." Donovan says out of nowhere. I look over to him warily. I speak hesitatingly.

"Humans?"

He looks at me with a strange expression, and replies.

"What else?" Does he not know what animals are?

"Animals."

Silence.

For a moment, no one speaks a word, before he replies in a patronizing tone.

"Why would you drink animals when there are humans?" He asked slowly like I was stupid. I didn't know what to say to that.

"Can I drink animals?" I said cautiously. They all looked at each other and I immediately knew the answer. Blake spoke,

"If you want to be with my clan, you have to drink from the humans, and there isn't another clan around here anywhere." He stared at me as if daring me to say no. I wasn't sure what to do. I would go insane if I was to be alone for the rest of eternity.

_ Life owes me for the pain its caused me_, I think resentfully. I owe no one anything.

"Ok, I'll do it." I'm not sure if this is the right thing to do. But at the moment I really don't care. Who cares if it's the right thing to do? It's only fair if the humans experience the same pain I felt.

Blake grins at me.

"Welcome to the clan." I smile back and say,

"I think I'm going to go into the forest, you know, just to practice my powers." I add because of the suspicious looks I was getting. It was a lie, but not because I was going to drink from the animals. I needed my alone time to mourn.

"We'll know if you drank or not, so don't even think about it." Vega says scathingly. I give her a fake smile and reply.

"Wasn't planning to."

I whip out of the house, and into the forest.

The feeling,elating and invigorating, I speed up. I love the feeling, with the wind whipping my hair around, and everything a blur. It's amazing. It was like flying. I could smell all the animals, but luckily they weren't near. The smell of the forest I decided though, was something I immediately noticed, and I realized that it was a smell that I loved almost as much as Edward's.

_ Edward._

I stopped. I had ended up right before a shallow, little pond. With the towering trees surrounding everything, I sat down on one of the rocks and let it all out.

Smashing the trees, oneby one, as easily as if it were Styrofoam, I know it will never be enough. Dry sobs escape, and I don't care.

_ Is it really my fault the pain was too much? _Life is so not fair. I tried to end it, and I got punished for it. I had a depressing month of misery, and what do I get in return?

An eternity of misery.

**Authors Note: sigh! That tooka while to write! EEK! IT was like 2200 words! I NO ITS amazing! LOL! JK.. -To explain a few things...Blake was the one who changed Bella, and he's the clan leader-YES, Bella now is going to drink humans...DONT KILL ME!...whos seen x-men 3!I LOVE storm! shes my favorite! so thats why i chose her power--REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! xoxo ;o!**


	3. Chapter One

**Authors Note: AHH! This is probably gonna be the last update before I go on my vacation to New Orleans. I don't wanna go but, alas, I am forced. SO I decided I _had _to get this out. I'm REALLY sorry if BELLA seems a bit OOC! REVIEW! Bllahh! criticize! do something! I lied. The plot doesn't start yet.**

**P.S.-I don't know why but some of the words bunch up even though I double check to see if they aren't. It's SO ANOYING!**

**Disclaimer: (for this chapter and the prologue before! 4got 2put it up!) I don't own twilight-**

**Chapter one---- Relaxation time**

It's been eighteen years since I was changed. Time soars by when you know there's no end.

Basking in my own memories, I look out towards the sky. I haven't tampered with it, and it's still as beautiful as ever. I smile wide. It looks exactly like the moment right before I had taken fate into my own hands.

Twilight had become my second favorite time of day though. Midnight had become my all-time favorite, with the sky pitch black, and the stars shining vibrantly, making a noticeable contrast. Here in the small town of Prince Rupert, Canada, that image was almost always. And if it wasn't, I could make it happen.

The twilight today though, was so awfully stunning; it almost beat my preferred midnight sky. Relaxing in the forest, while the rest of the clan was racing each other, I remember that day like it was yesterday. As soon as I had come back from the my time grieving in theforest, we had a lengthy conversation about, well, a lot of things.

There was one question, though, that caught me off guard. They had asked me if I'd known any vampires before. Of course, I had and I told them. Luckily, they didn't push it and let me be.

Though I don't quite love it here in the clan, Idefinitely don't hate it either. Settling here though, has its advantages. I had a group to keep me sane, protection, plus some playful coven mates.

_ But those were only the males… _ok, that's true, but I can't do anything about it.

_ Alice…_ As soon as that thought came, it was gone just as quickly.

Though I missed having a girl to talk to, I didn't like to think about things I couldn't possibly change.

_ Like the females' attitudes!_ I thought, annoyed.

Lilith, for example. I learned immediately not to expect much chatter from Lilith. You'll be lucky if she even replies. I suppose it's not that she doesn't actually like me; it's more just that she's a quiet person, and she's like that towards the whole clan, except her husband, Adrian. Anyways, that's better then the way a certain _other _female reacts to my presence.She isn't really a hopeless case.I have a millimeter of hope for Lilith.

_ Vega, _though; _she _is doomed to failure. There is no reasoning with her. She hates me for no apparent reason, and she'll take whatever chance she'll get to show it; glaring, growling, cursing, sticking her leg out, and pouncing on me once in a while. Supposedly, I provoke her. I remember plenty of times where I would outrun her in a race, and she would get upset and tackle me. And it wasn't too playfully either. And she always claims I flirt with her husband, Donovan, when truthfully, all thatwe have is a brother-sister kind of bond.

I'm actually kind of close to Donovan. We talk, joke, and we often mischievously tackle each other, out of no where. He was someone whose outlook I needed when I was troubled, though I never do understand his ways.

Adrian, Lilith's husband, was very calm, but leaned on the gothic side, like his wife. We also chatted, but that was mainly it. I usually was with him when I wanted quiet time though, like when reading, or just to think. Lilith wasn't the jealous type, so that wasn't a problem.

And then there was Blake. Blake isn't actually my boyfriend. No, I will not let that happen. But we're definitely more then youraverage friends. I would say… best friends, with a touch of lust…or a bit more then a touch.

I giggle into the barely there sun. He definitely _was _extremely attractive, but I would say it was more of a lustful craze, not the whole in-love act. I wouldn't let it go any further then that, and I had a good reason too. His name is Edward Cullen, and I detest him.

_ No you don't…_Oh shut up! Yes, I do, and I would prefer it if I were to never see him again. He caused everything to go wrong, and he completely ruined my life. I don't regret becoming a vampire, though. I love it; and I would definitely go through the three days of pain again if I weren't a vampire. But he was too dim-witted to change me…

Bringing me out of my depressing thoughts is the sound of running. Donovan appears out of no where and stops right in front of me. He has a mischievous glint in his eyes that makes me wary.

"We're playing it." I grin, and reply.

"I'm in." He smiles wickedly and leans in close. He whispers for effect.

"Good, because your it." And before he dashes off like lightning, he tags me with so much force, I go flying. Of course it doesn't hurt me, but I give a cry of outrage.

Swiftly, I land on my feet. Instantly I take off in the direction that he took. I take a deep breath and then listen carefully for all sounds. I grin smugly, because I now know that there'retwo vampires very close by.

Pushing myself to the limit, I catch up to them in less then a minute. I can now see the back of Donovan's head, and it's slowly but surely coming closer. A bit ahead, I see Blake's shaggy black hair. I decide to pounce on Donovan for revenge. I make the winds carry me even faster, and I'm basically flying at the moment.

Whenthe timing is perfect, I pounce, and in concentration, bring him down. More out of surprise and shock was I able to pin him to the ground, because he's much stronger then me, butthen I'm much quicker then him. We smash together, with the ground, causing a deafening boom.

He scowls up at me, but before I let him open his mouth, I speak.

"Ha! Do you really think you can beat me?" I grin triumphantly. By now, Blake has heard the ruckus and is leaning against a tree, laughing at Donovan. The next second, I'm the one pinned to the ground. I glare irritably at him and he beams down at me.

"No, I _know _I can beat you." He chuckles as I growl threateningly. Suddenly, I get hit with an idea. I smile evilly, and say,

"If I were you, I'd get off of me and let me tag you." He stares down at me, trying to figure out my plan, while Blake, still leaning against the tree, has a knowing look in his eyes. He speaks,

"Don, you don't want to know, but I'd listen to her," The last time we were racing each other, I had done this exact same plan to him.

I casually look at up at the sky. It had started to rain a bit, but merely drizzling. Gradually, I speed up the process to where in a couple of minutes, we're all soaked.

Donovan looks up at the sky, and then looks back down at mewith a smirk on his face.

"Oh no! Are you going to get my hair wet?" He says mockingly. Only adding fuel to the fire, I bring out the thunder. It roars at full volume. I smile innocently.

"Oh, much worse."

Blake then speaks hurriedly.

"Don, get off and let her get you, while you still can." Blake's now backed off behind the tree. Donovan merely looks at him before asking,

"Why?" He replies,

"Just do it…"

"No! I've finally won!" He whines.

"Don, she's going to do it any second now."

"Let her, she's just mad because I beat h-"

But I had lost my patience. The storm, roaring around us, looks inconspicuous for a bit of what I'm going to give to Donovan. Out of the soon-to-be-black sky, lightning pierces the darkness and heads straight towards us, through the rain. Blake sighs,

"Too late…"

Lightning strikes Donovan and he goes flying into the trees. The lightning won't hurt him because I've sent it a slow and unheated level, or maybe not _just as_ heated. He curses at me and comes out of the trees, looking a mess. But as soon as we see him, me and Blake burst into laughter.

Donovan scowls.

"And what, pray tell, is so funny?" He asks us threateningly. Blake is laughing too hard, so I decide to tell him.

"Look down at yourself." It takes less then a second, and when he does, he gives a cry of outrage.

"You burned all my clothes off!" I look innocently at him.

"You still have your boxers on." He stares at me menacingly, which makes the laughs come out again. On the light pink boxers, is a picture of Vega shaped as a heart on the butt. Blake says, snickering,

"Nice boxers. I _have _to know where you bought them." Donovan growls, though I can tell he's embarrassed.

"And you _knew_ this would happen?" Blake smiles and simply says,

"I warned you, didn't I?" Donovan glares at him before turning to me.

"You do know I'll get you for this, right?" I reply, smiling.

"Like you can…" He looks outraged and before he can say anything else, I take off towards the house. I hear the sound of running behind me and I know they're following. I turn around while still running, going backwards. Donovan mutters,

"Show off."

I smirk, and say,

"Did you say something, Dear Donovan?" He puts on a fake smile and says mechanically,

"I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about, sweet Bella." I laugh and turn back around. We would reach our house in a matter of minutes. I ask,

"Where did everyone else go?" I didn't really care about the answer. I liked it best when it was just us three. Blake answered, since Donovan was still in his bad temper.

"Vega went to go get a manicure again, because she broke a nail," He said sarcastically. "Adrian's at the house, reading. He got bored. And of course, Lilith went with him." Lilith and Adrian were inseparable.

"Oh…" I said absentmindedly.

We arrived back at the house. Vega wasn't back yet. Adrian and Lilith were upstairs doing something I didn't want to hear. Donovan plopped down on the couch and turned on the T.V.

"We need a bigger T.V." he says out of no where. I gape at him.

"That one practically takes up the whole wall!" He grins at me and says calmly,

"I know. We need one that actually takes up the whole wall." I stare at him. Blake answers for me.

"Well, we would get one like that, but I don't think they sell them." He says sorrowfully. I sigh exaggeratingly and grumble,

"Men are hopeless." Blake grins at me, and I see a lustful spark in his eyes.

Not wanting him to do anything in front of anyone, I move smoothly outside. It was almost midnight now. But before I can do anymore gazing, I find myself pinned up against the outside of the brick house. I look up into Blake's smirk.

"Now there's no escape." He says, an inch away from my face. I roll my eyes.

"Oh really?" He nods brushing his lips against my own.

"You, sir, are much too confident." His lips moving against mine, he says,

"No, I'm just right, and let's take this elsewhere." Before I can object, he dashes into the house, and up to his bedroom. I remember the time he had wanted us to share a room. There, I had put my foot down. He had complained a bit, but it was worth it, knowing that he would want to do things that _I _definitely did not want to do with him. But what we were doing right now was fine…

He throws me down onto the bed, and pounces. Moving his hands up and down my side, I giggle, because it tickles. He looks at me like I'm officially going insane. I smile and kiss him on the lips softly, but he deepens it. Suddenly his hands are on my shirt, taking it off. I frown inwardly.

"Blake…" I murmur with a disapproving tone. He continues to take it off. Annoyed, I say it clearly.

"Blake." It's now off and those sneaky hands are now at my pink bra.

_ Enough is enough! _I think irritated. I say loudly,

"Blake!" He finally responds this time.

_ Finally! _I look at him with annoyance written on my face, and he's looking right back at me with the same expression.

"What?" He says.

_ As if he doesn't know…_ Exasperated, I sigh, and say,

"You know what."

I notice he's ogling at my now exposed chest.

_ No wonder he seems out of it._

Growling harshly, I grab my shirt and slither it back on. He finally snap's back to reality and groans.

"Bella." He complains. "Why are you stopping what's going to happen eventually?" That took me off guard for a second.

"And what, exactly is going to happen eventually?" I'd explain this to him numerous times, but for some reason it didn't seem to go through his thick skull. He answered with the answer I was dreading.

"Us." I groaned loudly.

"How many times to I have to explain this? _We_ are not going to happen, Blake."

"Then what do you explain this is?" These were the exact questions we had in our other arguments. I suddenly was overcome with laughter.

"Hmm…a distraction." I burst out laughing. I felt likeI was being a bit rude,but I couldn't help it. It was kind of true. Basically true.

He looks at me irritably and mutters,

"That same excuse…Vega's home." He swiftly gets off me and heads towards the door. I asked hesitantly,

"Blake, are you mad at me?" I was answered with a glare and a brief 'no', before he headed out the door.

_ He has no reason to be mad at me._ _He's just being childish._

I feel the burning ache at the back of my throat and I know I can't put it off much longer.

With a sigh, I get off the bed and walk at a human pace downstairs. When I get to the bottom, I'm greeted with the picture of Vega and Donovan going at it.

"Get a room!" I shout, amused when Vega breaks off and shoots me a glare.

"This is my house, and I can do whatever I want wherever I want." She snarls at me. I'm about to remind her that it's also my house, when Blake walks in from the living room.

"Vega, please do get a room. It's not the most pleasant sight to see." I can tell she's annoyed, but also doesn't want to provoke any unneeded arguments. She responds with,

"Whatever…oh and I have some news." Blake puts up a hand to stop her.

"You can tell us afterwards, but it's time." He says, and calls out to Adrian and Lilith. They come down and nod, showing they heard. Slowly a smile shows on his face.

"Which club are you going to, Vega?" She replies with an evil smile. I zone out of their conversation. Though I did hunt humans, I didn't do it the way they did. Which was going to clubs, flirting, bringing them back home, and then drinkingthem dry.

I repress a shudder, and zone back into the present. Donovan, Lilith, and Adrian have already left. Vega and Blake are still here. Vega zooms upstairs. She likes to get ready to go the clubs. Blake gives me a pointed look. He knows my ways, and doesn't fully approve, but let's me do it nevertheless.

Reaching my room in a second, I go to my closet and pick out an outfit for tonight. Choosing a black long sleeve, thin shirt, a black denim skirt, and black stockings with matching shiny, leather black boots, I put it all on. I liked to blend into the night when hunting, so I always wore black. Also, I didn't want to stain any of the clothes I liked.

Going back downstairs, I see a note on the table. I read it,

_ Bella, _

_Vega was impatient and it was getting annoying. Anyways, you take to long. Sorry, but as youcan see, we left. But I think you know your way by now. Have fun, and be back before the sun rises._

_ Blake_

Blake usually was the one who dropped me off. But I definitely knew my way by now. And he didn't need to leave a note. It's not like I'm goingbe lost withoutthem.

_ You're only getting mad because you're thirsty._ I ignore the voice because I know its right.

Making my way through the forest, I reach the road we usually take. Sighing, I look up at the sky and smile. It's gorgeous, once again, naturally. I made it drizzle a tad, because I liked the feeling against my own skin.

I continue down the road and out of no where, I trip.

To shocked to actually do anything, I fall on the ground. I lay there for a minute in shock. When was the last time I'd _tripped?_ I growled loudly. Great, I'm on an eighteen year no-tripping binge, and I ruin it by tripping over air right now.

_ Calm down, its not a big deal…_I tell myself. But it is a big deal. Well, to me it is.

I finally stop my ranting, because I was at my destination, and it was time to go hunting.

**Authors Note: PLEASE REVIEW! OK SO THE PLOT WILL EMERGE EVENTUALLY DON'T WORRY! IM IN THE PROCESS OF WRITING THE NEXT CHAPTER! im almost done but not quite...i wont b able to get it out though till tuesday i'd say! sry! AHA! THIS now is the longest chapter i've written! xoxo ;o! ILL UPDATE SOON ENOUGH! BUT U HAVE TO REVIEW!**


	4. Chapter Two

**Authors Note: Ok so hear it is! i decided to be nice and get this out! SOO ON WITH THE STORY! **

**Disclaimer: No...sadly i do not own twilight.**

Chapter Two- Hunting

I've never actually liked the idea of hunting humans, but I have to admit, it does satisfy my thirst and so much more.

I remember the first time I went hunting. I went with the rest of my clan, and had tried to do it their way. It had been terribly uncomfortable, chatting and socializing with the person I was going to kill, putting on a fake show of smiles, acting like we were having the best time in the world. The clan each had their own human, and we headed back to the house. Once there, each of us had gone into different rooms, and proceeded to "hunt".

Smelling the luscious blood, I was subconsciously going into predator mode. I hadn't hunted at all,since the beginning of the change,not a drop of blood, thinkingI could put it off.It was too much. I committed to memory the boy's eyes, a vivid jade, before in a flash; my teeth were in his neck.

Drinking his sweet, warm blood, I thought I was in heaven. The predator in me was little by little getting its satisfaction and pleasure. I never wanted it to stop. All I focused on was getting every single last drop.

But then my rational side caught up. How could I've been so cruel? Taking an innocent life, and now hearing his scream of agony. Horrified, I moved to stop, but found that I couldn't. Both sides of me were engaged in a battle of the wills. On one side of the fight, was the predator.

_What's the big deal? It's just a stupid human. Just one human! It's nothing significant. No one will remember this worthless creature…_

On the other side…

_What the hell are you doing? This poor boy might have siblings, or even friends! Even if he didn't he does have parents! You're acting like a monster! No, wait, you are a monster. A monster that's killing an innocent boy. _

Finally coming to my senses, I had broken off. But it was too late. He was dead.

Devastated, I had taken his body and buried it in the woods, with a little headstone as a remembrance. The guilt was so crushing, I actually asked Don to end it for me. Yes, I know. The first few years of my vampires' existence, Iwas so solemn, I could have given Lilith a run for her money.

But after that one kill of the innocent, I knew I wouldn't be able to do it again, not without the guilt getting to me. But then again, there was no possible way I could drink animal blood, now knowing how much better humans were…

I'd though for days with no end, and finally, I had come up with something. Somewhere deep inside of me, where the old Bella was, I knew that this was just as bad, but I refused to let the old Bella resurface, because with it, the came pain, and I couldn't take anymore of it.

I couldn't think of anything else, and anyways, what these humans got, was what they deserved.

Back to the present, I walk promptly past the large sign, stating where I am, though I already know.

_The ninth ward. _

If I was human and then just walked dandily into this place, I would either get killed, kidnapped, or something worse…

It was a wretched, miserable place to be, much less live, and it was a perfect place to find humans filled with corruption and evil. The roads were dirt, and the houses were shacks. Homeless people lay randomly against the concrete walls of the warehouses. The walls, fences, and the train I now notice on the railroad track, are all covered with graffiti. The streetlights are all busted or out, so the only luminosity is the moonlight.

Taking a deep breath, I smellfresh blood, which meansI smellthesinners close by.

I walk through the darkness.

Seeing perfectly fine, I spot two men at the corner of the dirt path. I gracefully saunter in the direction of the men, purposely knocking into trashcan so they're aware of my presence. Through the darkness, their heads jerk towards me, and I continue to walk, faking unawareness.

I see one of the men nod in my direction. The other stays put, hidden in the shadows. He whispers,

"Once she walks past, we'll follow. Then we'll do it." He gives a perverted smile to the other, and they both stay where the moonlight doesn't reach. I don't like wasting time, and it's almost 3:00. With a sigh, I decide it doesn't matter.

I walk past, and I see them furtively follow. All in a minute, I sense them behind me. I turn around, and there they are, staring down at me. I see them do a double take, entranced by my beauty.

_This is too easy. _

"Hello" I say alluringly. I've broken the trance, and they put their plans back into action. One of the males pushes me against the wall. In the next half-second, we've exchanged places. I smile threateningly, and put my hand on his neck, very close to snapping it.

"Did you want something?" I say openly. He replies cockily.

"Only you, baby." I bare my teeth in disgust, and let out a low growl.

He looks down at me with irritation and moves to switch places again, but he doesn't know that that won't happen.

The next male moves behind me and puts his hands on my thighs, moving upward. The next second, he's doubled over in pain, a few meters away, clutching his male anatomy. I know he'll be like that for a few minutes. The first male shifts his feet to ram into my stomach, but I quickly move out of the way, and push him harder against the wall, so that he can't move an inch.

I now look up once more into the man's eyes, and I now see what satisfies me.

With fear in his eyes, the predator within me strikes. I sink my teeth into his neck.

He gives a cry of pain but it's short-lived. I drink every last drop, because it's dangerous otherwise, with the possibility of the transformation taking place on the victim.

I throw his body to the ground, and now glance at the other man, still a few meters away. He's glaring at me with fear and hatred.

Not bothering any more to hide my true nature, I'm next to him in less then half-a-second. I pick him up by the neck and say,

"I've seen you around before," I say growling, and it was true. On my last hunting trip, I had seen this man, but I had already killed and gotten pleased, so I let him go. I continued. "And trust me when I say, you deserve what you get." He didn't deny his crimes, and good thing he didn't or I would've killed him right there on the spot, but I guess it doesn't matter since I'm going to kill him anyways.

What I didn't expect was for him to spit in my face.

Aghast, I raise my hand to my face, but don't touch the filthy saliva. My other hand is clenched in anger. I snarl but decide not to take out my anger on his face; but as soon as I decide that, he raises his fist and punches me in the face. I choose to let him, since he's just causing himself more pain. As soon as his fist comes in contact with my face, he howls in agony and manages to get out,

"Bitch!"

I growl and come to a decision not to waste anymore time. Too quick for him to feel, I snap his neck and drink up the pleasing fluid inside.

Once done,my rational side catches up withme, andI stare at the two carcasses sadly. Their lifeless eyes stare back at me, reminding me of the crime I committed, which was just as bad as what these men did in the past.

According to my subconscious, I'm a bit sad, because it starts to lightly rain. I gaze vaguely into the sky. It might not be midnight, but the remaining stars still raise my mood a bit.

For some reason, tonight I was feeling more then the usual amount of guilty emotion. I sigh, and decide to burry them. Picking both up, as if they were dolls, I run back towards the house.

I know where I'm going, and that's straight to the little headstone.

I arrive and put them down gently. It's not pleasant, but with my hands, I dig up a hole for each, and bury them. I don't have a headstone, but I'm not sure if they actually deserve one.

_They did deserve what they got…_

The same questions that came with my first kill pop up in my head.

_What about family? What if they had a wife? Or worse, kids? _

I tell myself that he probably molested his children, and that he probably beat his wife.

_There's no possible way for you to know that…_one side says.

_It's their fault! They were going to commit an unforgivable crime! I should've done worse then kill them…_ the other side replies hastily. I realize there's no point in even trying, because I'm not going to be convinced.

Though they were going to attempt to rape me, I still feel remorse.

Each time I hunted was like a guilt spree. It is an awful feeling, but I don't know what to do about it. There's no possibility of me switching to animals, because I'd go into a craving mode for about a year, **(AN: I got this from Like Us! Not my idea!)** This was not good, since we would start school in about two and a half weeks.

The guilt was nothing compared to the innocent killing I had committed, but it was still a distasteful feeling.

Looking up into the tranquil sky, I head back to the house. No more hunting for me tonight. I've already stacked enough guilt on my plate, thank you.

I'm feeling anxious and somber again. Will this _ever_ end?

I arrive at the house to see everyone done with their 'meals'. I grimace. I turn upstairs to go shower.

I remove my clothes, and step into the shower.Letting the warm water gently cascade down my back, I scrub my head with the freesia shampoo.This was one habit that I couldn't lose. Like always, it released the tension in my body. I relaxed andrinsed off the remaining shampoo.I turned off the water and stepped out, wrappinga towelaround myself. Putting on an over-larged greent-shirt,I search for my ipod. I find it, andzoom back downstairs.

Settling on laying on the huge, fluffy black armchair, I flick the on switch and put on Numb by Linkin Park. I sigh idly, and it begins.

_I'm tired of being what you want me to be  
Feeling so faithless  
Lost under the surface  
I don't know what you're expecting of me  
Put under the pressure  
Of walking in your shoes_

I stare straight ahead, listening intently to the lyrics, wanting to drown out all thoughts. But that's basically impossible, with my mind against me. I close my eyes slowly.

_Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow  
Every step that I take is another mistake to you_

Maybe that _was _my mistake. Maybe I shouldn't have pressured _him._ Maybe he got tired of the human. Maybe I wasn't good enough. Maybe it was my all fault.

_No, it was _not _my fault. It was all his fault, and stop thinking of this. You'll regret it.__  
_

_I've  
Become so numb  
I can't feel you there  
Become so tired  
So much more aware  
I'm becoming this_

_All I want to do  
Is be more like me  
And be less like you_

Yes, this part fits me perfectly… I don't like to remember him. At all. I don't want to be like him in any way. I want to be my own person, with no setbacks.

_Can't you see that you're smothering me  
Holding too tightly  
Afraid to lose control  
'Cause everything that you thought I would be  
Has fallen apart right in front of you_

Did I ever smother him? Perhaps, but the only reason I was holding on to him tightly, was because I thought he was going to leave.

_And what do you know…he did. _I think bitterly.

But he always said he was afraid he was going to lose control and drink me dry…

And the last part is true… everything that I thought he would be,

_Like a great boyfriend and one who would stay with me forever…_I sigh, _so not true..._

But everything had turned out wrong, and it had fallen apart, right before my eyes…

_Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow  
Every step that I take is  
Another mistake to you  
Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow  
And every second I waste  
Is more than I can take  
_

It's true. Every day I spend being distant, every moment I have to live bitterly through, every second of eternity, is _much, much _more then I can take.

_  
I've  
Become so numb  
I can't feel you there  
Become so tired  
So much more aware  
I'm becoming this  
All I want to do  
Is be more like me  
And be less like you_

I open my eyes, to see Blake and Vega talking, and hear distantly from Blake,

"What was the news you had for us?"

I turn up the volume all the way, not caring what comes out of Vega's mouth.

Silently watching, I see Blake freeze.

_And I know  
I may end up failing too  
But I know  
You were just like me  
With someone disappointed in you _

I see his mouth moving, and Lilith and Adrian come down, and Donovan turns around from the T.V. Everyone has an unpleasant expression. Vega looks annoyed; Adrian looks grave; Lilith looks solemn; Donovan looks a bit angry, and Blake definitely looks mad. I lower the volume, and ask cautiously while the music's still playing,

"What's wrong?"

_I've  
Become so numb  
I can't feel you there  
Become so tired  
So much more aware  
I'm becoming this  
All I want to do  
Is be more like me  
And be less like you_

Blake answers with resentment in his voice,

"The Cullen clan are approaching, and their coming to stay."

_I've_ _become so numb…_

but the pain is coming back full force…

**Authors Note: ok...sorry if it's a bit rushed, but my airplane leaves at 3:30 and I decided I HAD TO GET THIS OUT! but b/c i got this out...my next chapter probaly won't be out until like...tuesday or wednesday...IM LEAVING OUT OF TOWN! i don't want to go but...sigh! READ AND REVIEW! I LOVE ALL MY REVIEWERS WITH A FIERY PASSION! MWA! XOXO ;o! review! evn if its critcism! ill still luv u! LOL! BUH-BYE!**


	5. Chapter Three

**Authors Note: Ok yall dont no how freakin sry i am for taking so dam long! IM SORRY! its just that i got kinda siick for some reaason, i think it was called like--anemic or something. ANYWAYS i hope yall like the chapter--its a bit longer then any of the other ones...soooyea! READ AND REVIEW! I LUV MY REVIEWERS WITH A FIERY PASSION! YALL ARE SUPA SEXY! XOXO!**

Chapter Three-Decisions

My mind freezes.

It refuses to grasp the statement.

It takes a minute or two before it sinks in, but when it does, I am not in a pleasant frame of mind.

Shock waves vibrate through my body.

Depression and heartache tear my heart.

Anger seizes the empty, cold, and rotting parts of my body, where I am figuratively dead, but the new feeling bringing it to life.

The unbearable pain though, wins the battle, and once more I want to go to sleep and never wake up.

And as much as I despise myself with every single fiber in my body for admitting it, I know that there is a part of me, no matter how small it is, that is filled up with hope and love.

I am idiotic for having those feelings, but I would be even more foolish to be in denial and pretend they didn't exist.

_I'm _so _pathetic… _

I'm finally able to speak.

"What do you mean the Cullen clan is _approaching _and coming to _stay_?" I say slowly, praying to the gods that I heard mistakenly, since this was my last hope. But sadly, my miniscule wish is crushed.

"I mean they're going to move here to Canada, to _our _town." Blake irritably says. He doesn't like to repeat himself, but I was in no mood for his desires.

"Why! Why can't they just go back wherever stupid place they came from! Why do they always have to ruin everything!" I snarl angrily.

_It's not fair! They left me and now they think they can just dandily barge right in back into life! Well they don't know how _wrong _they are!_

But then I realize something.

_They don't know I'm a vampire. So it isn't _precisely_ their fault for being annoying life-wreckers…_

Out of anger, I don't yet realize my beloved ipod is lying between my fingers, crushed. I uncurl my right hand and find that it isn't so much an ipod then silver dust. I scowl and blow it off my hand, before letting out an exasperated scream.

Keeping my emotions in check, I look out the window, making sure there isn't the world's deadliest storm.

By counting to one hundred at a snail's pace, I'm finally able to calm down.

Glancing around the room, I realize that everyone is looking intently at me, almost certainly thinking I've at last lost it and turned into a schizophrenic. I glare back and finally someone makes a move to speak.

"Bella?" Adrian asks steadily.

"I'm not going to explode!" I snap.

_Ok, maybe I _haven't _calmed down…_

He looks me in the eyes, and it's like he's searching for a secret. Then I remember his power. He can see the colors of what I'm feeling right now; which means he can see the agony I'm in.

_Oh no, what am I going to tell them! _

But before I can think of a decent excuse, he speaks.

"What the _hell_ is wrong?" I decide to ignore them all. They can't make me speak.

"Bella."

_I'm not going to answer._

"Bella."

_I'm. Not. Going. To. Answer._

"Ok then, fine. I guess we'll just have to invite those damn Cullens to our house then!" He says scornfully. Before he had even finished the sentence, I had broken my silent game.

"If you do that I will shred you to itty bitty pieces, I won't regret it, and it _will _be painful." I say candidly.

"Oh, _now _she speaks." Donovan says sarcastically. I ignore _him_, but realize I can't actually ignore the _situation_. I despise losing now. Grudgingly, I take a deep breath, and speak.

"What do you want to know?"

Blake asks first. "Do you actually _know _those bastards?"

For a second, I feel a protective, defending feeling, but I let it slide. Adrian gives me a suspicious look, which triggers my apathetic, numb frame of mind.

"Yes." I say bored. Shock registers each and every face, but instantaneously it's gone, and I'm looking at five agitated faces.

"And…_how_ do you know them again? Please, be my guest and remind me." He says aggravated.

As calmly as I can, I answer quietly. "Do you remember when you guys asked me questions when I first came here, and you asked if I had known any vampires?"

Vega speaks says unbelievingly, "Don't tell me, the _Cullens_ are the vampires you were talking about?" She had a skeptic look, but it was only her face. The rest had dawning comprehension on their faces, though expectedly, none of them looked too happy about it, especially Blake and Donovan.

"And _why _didn't you tell us about knowing _them_?" Blake says angrily.

"You never asked." I say simply. He scowls and turns to Donovan.

"Don't worry, we-" Donovan cuts him off.

"I'm not worrying; I'm just going to punch that guy in the face." He says crossly. He stomps upstairs and snarls, "I really don't feel like talking right now about this!" I hear his bedroom door slam shut.

I was confused._ What _were they talking about?

'_Don't worry',_

'_I'm just going to punch him in the face'_ and last of all, why were _they_ gettingangry.

"Um, well, anything else you want to know?" I say cautiously but firmly. Blake snaps his head from the stairs to look at me. Carefully looking over me, he says with an edge to his tone,

"Am I right when saying, I don't think you're on good terms with them?" I realize this is an opportunity to figure this all out.

"Answer that question yourself and then you can ask me whatever you want." I say nonchalantly. He scowls but answers.

"Fine, but you better keep your part of the deal." He looks around the room and catches the eyes of everyone. It was like he was putting emphasis on whatever he was going to say. I resist the urge to roll my eyes. He begins in a somber tone.

"It was a long time ago, around the 1930-40's. We were settled in this little town, I forgot what it was called. Anyway, so we're living peacefully in our little town, when the Cullens come along."

Each time he says the word 'Cullen', it seems as if it tastes rotten to say it.

He continues, "So we just ignore them. We don't like to get involved with other clans." I knew it was true, because we had only encountered one other clan since I had been here, and they had only visited for a day.

"Then, out of no where, they tell us we have to leave, and we had done nothing at all. _Nothing._ We refused to move, and they got angry. We were angry too, so one sunny day, we got into this fight. Well, it was pretty intense. Then, one of the-" He pauses. He has fury in his eyes, and it makes me curious.

He glances around the room once more, and continues.

"We never told you this, but there used to be another member to our clan. Her name was Rain. I was really close to her." I know he means boyfriend-girlfriend wise, but I let it slide, because I realize I feel no jealousy. I just feel a bit of a betrayal since after eighteen long years together, they had failed to mention this to me.

"So Rain was about to finish one of them off, when one of the males ram into her. Well, both of them refused to back down, so basically they fight to the death. The male had the upper-hand since had just gotten there and hadn't been fighting, and none of us could help her, because we were busy with our own fights.

"Then out of nowhere, there's this huge fire, and they got pushed into it. Rain was weakened, and she got caught in the fire. The male though, got out in time. In fact, he was barley burned. But Rain was dead. It was his entire fault she's dead. And I'm planning on getting him back."

He growls, a long harsh growl.

I'm shocked. The Cullens had killed one of their members?

It's outrageous.

_Impossible._

This story seems a bit shifty though. The Cullens were nice vampires. They were decent. I _hated_ them, yes, but I knew they would never kill someone with out a reason.

_Rain _was _about to finish one of them off…_

_I wonder which one it was…?_

"Which one was Rain about to kill?" I ask hesitatingly. I knew it was a touchy subject.

Lilith answered. "She was a black-haired female. I think her name was Ashley, no wait, Amy." _Alice…_ "No, wait, it was Alice."

I carefully hide my distress and put on a mask of indifference. But my mind was getting the better of me.

_That Rain girl tried to kill _Alice_? Well, _I'm _glad she's dead. _

But then I remember the circumstances.

_Why do I care if Rain tried to kill her…?_

A tiny part of my mind whispers,

_Because you still love her like a sister…_

_No, I don't! _My mind contradicts me.

I stop thinking and ask another question.

"Do you remember how the one who killed her looked like?" I asked vaguely. Blake answers with vengeance in his voice. "Of course I do. I know it by heart for god's sake." He looks deep in thought. In the past, I had seen Blake get moody at random, but I had never known the reason. Patiently, I waited for the rest.

"He had bronze-auburn hair, gold eyes, and he was my height. And he's the one I'm going to kill."

I turn my head in his direction to just stare at him.

_So _he _killed Rain, because Rain was going to kill Alice..._

_It actually makes sense…but it seems as if something's missing…_

I put it off to the side and tell myself I'll think about it later.

"And do you remember his name?" I ask innocently. He raises his lips above his teeth and snarls, "Edward."

It hurts to hear his name and I inwardly flinch. I talk without thinking,

"But it's not really his fault, is it, because, I mean Rain _was _trying to kill Alice." Everyone looks at me as if I had just committed an act that was unforgivable.

"What the hell are you _talking _about? That little _Alice _deserved to die, just like the rest of them! Why are you defending them anyways? I thought you were in _our _clan!" Blake snarls angrily.

I reply furiously, "I'm not defending them! I despise them! It just seemed reasonable, that's it! So you can just shut your dim-witted mouth!"

He glares at me and I glare right back.

"You still haven't spoken your part of the deal." Lilith says coolly. I scowl at her and answer as brief as possible.

"I met them around 19 years back, when I moved in with my father. Long-story short, they were like my second family, and one day, they just randomly left. Sure they said good-bye, but they didn't even call or email or even visit. I hate them now." I say, trying to get them to believe me. But was I trying to get myself to believe it at the same time?

Before I can ponder anymore on the subject, Adrian asks me a question that I know will lead into dangerous waters.

"Is that why you tried to kill yourself?" My now coal-black eyes glare at him, before snarling,

"If it was, then it's none of your business!" I shoot off the armchair and continue,

"And if you don't mind, I'm going up to my room. And if you _do _mind, keep it to yourself, because I don't care!" I shout heatedly, while stomping up the stairs.

No one makes a move to stop me, for which I'm grateful for.

I slam the door once I'm inside and launch on top of my bed. I envelope myself in the silky, indigo covers and force myself not to think.

But my mind never listens to me, does it?

_What the hell will happen if we meet up? What if they're going to the same school as us? What if they walk over and start talking to me! But maybe they won't recognize me! Maybe I can just pretend I don't know of this 'Bella Swan'._

I laugh out loud, realizing the flaw of the ridiculous plan. My scent, which I can't conceal, will automatically enable them to know it's me and then inevitably find me, even if they don't recognize me.

_This is just _dandy

But why _don't _I want to confront them? Am I possibly scared?

I contemplate the thought, not ashamed to admit it. Maybe I am scared…

But _why _am I scared, and of who? Well, the latter was easy. I was scared of _him. _

_No, you're not scared of him; you're scared of what will happen if you see him…_

But was that accurate? What _would _happen if I were to meet up him? What was I scared of? It's not like he would hurt me. I knew he would rather kill himself and take anyone with him then letting anyone or anything lay a salt grain on me…

Yes, I despise him…I despise him so deeply; it would blind Adrian's eyes. Then what was I afraid of!

I was starting to frustrate myself, and I knew if I was human, I would have a pounding migraine.

Then, as if a light bulb had flashed on, it all came to me.

I was scared of the feelings he would unconditionally bring out of me.

I was scared of actually living the life I used to dream of.

I was scared of being left alone, heartbroken.

And for because of those reason's I was scared of change.

_Why am I even thinking of this! It's not like we're going to fall in love! It's not like he's going to barge right into the house and sweep me off my feet! It's not like I'm going to whoosh into _his _house and give him a huge hug and then-_

I stop my thinking right there and focus on my power in its place.

Without noticing it before, the rain had been pouring down violently. I observe it now and casually take it up a notch, just to the point to where it's viciously colliding against the windows, and the wind blows it in different directions.

For some wicked reason, I love thunderstorms. I love the ferocity of it. I love the howling of the wind. I love the roar of the thunder. I love the shriek of the lightening. I love every single thing about it.

But before I can take it up any higher, I'm rudely interrupted by Donovan. He slams the door open, while I glance at him irritably.

"Yes?" I say brusquely. He glares at me.

"Just to let you know, the Cullens are our enemies. So any lovey-dovey feelings you have, you might as well just toss them into a spiked cage, and throw them down the Nile. You aren't going to socialize with them, having a marvelous time. You're in _our _clan. Rain was basically a sister to me, and they killed her. So we should and are going to kill whoever did it, and you aren't going to get in the way." He snarls at me.

I'm a bit alarmed at this heated tirade for a number of reasons. He has never snarled at me before. Yes, shouted or raised his voice, but never _snarled_. Maybe he's actually serious…

No, it's not a maybe; he's definitely serious.

Were they truly going to try and hurt_ Edward? _He's not such an easy person to catch, let alone hurt. But to _kill! _I contemplate the worst possibility. What if they all gang up on him and _then_ try to kill him? It's even too overwhelming and distressing to consider. I almost scream out loud.

They wouldn't dare.

_No. They _can't! _No. No. No. _No. NO!

I finally admit it to myself. Yes, I do still…_care _about him.

Just a little…

Upset, I snap at him. "Well that's a damn stupid plan! You're just sinking to his level. Anyways, he's probably feeling guilty. It's all in the past now, so you just forget about it!"

He narrows his eyes even further at me, and speaks menacingly, "I really don't give a damn about sinking to his level, and just to let you know _Bella_, I'm not going to forget about it. We'll do whatever has to be done. There's no point to argue about it, so I'll be leaving now." He starts to leave but then stops.

"Oh, and watch it with your power. One of the roof tiles came off and almost crashed through our window." Finished, he leaves the room; me feeling a speck of satisfaction, but it soon being overcome with panic.

Then my mind comes into action again.

_I can't just let them kill Edward!_

_Edward._

_Edward…_

_Since when did I start caring again?_

_I won't let myself get hurt! _

I think of what to do. Maybe warn them all ahead of time?

Yes, but I would need a way for them to not notice me. A letter? No, my scent would get left behind.

But what if I contained the air around it? I _think_ I can do that. Why not? I can control the way the wind blows…Maybe I could 'trap' the air around it.

I come to a conclusion. I'll warn Edward and the rest of the clan with a letter. I half-heartedly hope that they will not even consider me to be the one who'd dropped the darn thing off.

My next decision is one that I know will keep me safe yet vacant of feeling.

But it was a decision worth the emptiness, because I wasn't going to go crawling back to him, especially for what he made me go through. He never should've left…

I would completely forget about Edward; a conclusion I know will never last.

**Authors Note: Ok--hope yall liked it...im sorry! but the chapters will be coming slower--probaly around once a week! IM MEAN but i try not to be--STUPID SCHOOL! its AWFUL! i think edward will show up like 2or3 chapters ahead-dun dun dun...read and review! luv ya all!**


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